one zero zero

phew, i'm back from long hiatus. so, i'm officially a tenth grader now, well, from a month ago actually.. :D;; i took paskibra as my CCA :D (paskibra is the flag raiser group, here in indonesia). and of course, like almost all school will do to their student.. exams, homeworks, etc etc.. -_- 

fyi, sman78 is using SKS or sistem kredit semester, one system that you'll find in universities. that way, semester 1 students' 'only' have 10 subjects. compared to private schools, they have approximately 13 subjects. yay! but it still feels hectic! -_-

anyway, i just had my asean scholarship test yesterday. i don't hope for anything though as the opportunity to earn this scholarship is 'this' small.. the test consisted of 3 papers: math, english, and GAT paper. math was hard as usual, english was also very hard -_- and GAT was surprisingly not so hard :|

i don't have many friends here in senior high.. i kinda miss my old friends :'( 

COUNT ME IN!

i'm joining vdcouture 's giveaway! my first actually LMAO! there are 2 items to be given, an electric blue blazer and a studded postman bag. i'm drooling over the postman bag! it's simple, but unique at the same time. the winner will be picked randomly, so, i'm not a fashion blogger though, but i'll try to join :)
the giveaway lasts for 2 weeks until 30th July 2010 and it's also opened for international blogger :D


electric blue blazer and the postman bag


closer look at the postman bag *.*
yiihaa! count me in! :D

SOP :)

pada hari ini ku ikut mos di smanjupan
namaku regine fiorenza dari penabur tujuh
masuk klompok bintan bareng teman lainnya
ikuti acara oleh kakak-kakak osis

reff: minta tanda tangan, ikut PBB juga
bikin kompos, kliling jupan juga acaranya
(naik delman, lyrics: my version :)


i'm on sman78's SOP :)

my Heavenly Father watches over me :')

tomorrow's going to be SOP's briefing in sman78. i haven't started making friends, yet. uhm well, i know 2 girls actually. 1 is from my junior high, another one i know from facebook (she added me because i'm going to 78 too). well, making friends scare me all the time. my friend from JHS has made some new friends, well because they share same interest in KPOP. ugh, it makes me feel inferior and scared at the same time. she has many friends, while me, i only know 1 new girl.. questions are filling my mind now.. will i make many friends? will i fail at making friends? will people hate me? will people love me? will people want to talk to me? :| cheryl has shared some tips, but i'm scared i can't be friendly enough :'( well, let's see tomorrow.. it's pretty much gonna change things..

maybe i shouldn't be scared, cause i know my Heavenly Father watches over me, all the time :)))))

hesitation

i feel there's a hint of hesitation when i decided to go to sman78. i feel like i'm not going to leave smak4 behind. all my old friends and some new friends i met during SOP's briefing.. i feel like i'm coming back. maybe it's just an illusion i created myself. i don't know. people said it's my decision to choose between sman78 or smak4. well i should be happy for having options, but it feels weird. sometimes, i want people not to care about me by asking things which sometimes embarrassed me, but at some points, i also want them to care for me. i want them to care for me, the way i want it to be. sounds selfish, yeah i know. i want to cry-out-loud for having so much problems in my life. i feel the wheel of life doesn't move. i've been in the bottom position for a long time. :""((

i really wish that when i say "i'm okay", i want someone to look me in the eyes and say "i know you're not" and when i told them what my problems are, i just want them to accept me for who i truly am :'""""(((

:')

miracle does happen :')

i need a miracle now :')

please wheel of life, please move, i have been in the bottom position so long :'(

God please hear my prayers.. :)

flashback :)

some pictures from junior high school, well, all from 9th grade cause it was the first time i owned camera-included mobile phone :p



(left to right) jeniffer (another einstein in my class), viona, and cheryl from a lonely stranger. camwhoring after P.E. class.



vanessa: einstein #1 in my class




(left to right) christopher: CIR, cheryl, elizabeth (on the top), maria (another einstein!). camwhoring during english club :)




food porn :p taken when i attended table manner course at hotel borobudur with my culinary class. this was warm apple tart topped with home made vanilla ice cream :)




another food porn! this was beef sirloin with shallots sauce, mashed potatoes, and grilled vegetables. i got the biggest piece on my table, i guess :p




the table setting. 2 forks, 2 spoons, 2 knives, 1 bread and butter plate, and a napkin.




cheese cracker, i guess. yumm-eh! :)






caroline from castor pollux. taken when we rehearsed for english practical exam :) she was one of the biggest loser contestant in our drama, so we tied a pillow to her body, covered with jacket :p




meet domo! it's cheryl's pencil case actually :)

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss

:)

walk with me :)

"A real friend is the one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

it's a new academic year and for me, who will be a freshman, have to deal with one of the things i scared. making new friends.

it's absolutely silly, huh? but yeah, making new friends and creating a good relationship is kinda hard and worrying for me. i'm always worried about 'am i good enough?' or 'am i annoying or what?' (even i still have this feeling with my friends -_-) cause i feel wherever i am, i create this awkward atmosphere that makes me think that i'm weird or annoying. i just feel that i can't always fit in. i feel like people are staring at me, thinking i'm weird or something else. each time i have to make new friends, i have to think hard and try not to lose those new friends. somehow, it's very frustrating just to start a conversation just not to get bored and stuffs. i'm afraid i can't fit in. i know i can't get along with every single person, but i just don't want to make enemies, haters, etc.. maybe i just want to be accepted. pathetic, i know. but i'm not those pretty girls who have everything they want, i'm not those popular girls who have many friends easily. i'm just a girl who have to struggle even in making friends. i just don't want to be alone and do everything solo..

maybe i should smile a little bit more.. :)