welcome to my version of hell

hey folks, tomorrow is supposed to be my first day of school, but, i'm not sure about going to school tomorrow. i've been thinking about choosing sman78 as my school.. but i'm not quite sure about it. sman78 is public school here in indonesia, while smak4 is a private school, located next to my junior high school. public school are filled with indonesian natives, which is at some points, don't really like chinese(s). i'm not being racist here, it's just i'm pretty scared. i'm scared that they might bully me or etc etc because i'm a part of minority they don't really like in this country. aside from that, i have paid smak4's tuition fee. i feel bad that i have to make my parents dig their pockets once again to pay for sman78. even worse, tomorrow's the first day of orientation program in smak4, which means, i have to make decision today. a decision that lasts for at least 3 years of my life.

"okay no pressure" won't help me. it's like carrying tons of heavy stones on my back.

click to enlarge

that's my position on sman78 (temporary). if i make it to the list, it means i am accepted at sman78. gabriela (friend from junior high) also enrolled for sman78. i'm currently on the 6th position out of 127 students. 

God, please help me choose.